Although massage is considered by many people as a prelude to sex, a little bit like foreplay, it can be a source of deep pleasure in and of itself. Anyone who has enjoyed a professional massage can testify to the fact that it is an immensely satisfying experience which doesn’t inevitably lead to sexual  intercourse.

But what if you’re single and feeling deprived of sensual touch, loving caresses...

and empowering communication but can’t afford to pay for professional tantric massage all the time? It has been difficult to find ways to meet like-minded folk who are open to exploring conscious, intimate touch without needing to end up in bed. Until now...

A gap in the market for a conscious dating site for sensualists was spotted by entrepreneur, Kavida Rei. Kavida is a crusader for love and relationships and her website is dedicated to opening people’s eyes to beauty, their bodies to healing and erotic massage, their ears to inspired music and their minds to consciousness and transformation.

Before now, trawling through the large, online dating sites was time-consuming at best, terrifying at worst, and one certainly wouldn’t feel confident in most cases to ask for a massage on a first date. But there is light at the end of the tunnel for lovers of touch and heart-to-heart communing in the form of Kavida’s new dating site, Sensual Spirit.

Imagine being able to meet sensualists online who enjoy touch, massage and dancing, with no agenda other than to have fun and connect consciously, in whatever way is appropriate in the moment. is a website that has been built with passion and vision and is being run with integrity by Kavida and her partner, Roland. 

Sensual Spirit is a place where people speak the same language, where there is a common understanding of terminology such as ‘energy’, ‘tantra’,  and ‘tantric massage’. You would not be considered weird if you put 5 rhythms down as one of your hobbies or Conversations With God as your favourite book. Sensual Spirit members understand massage to be a heart-opening, fundamentally life-enhancing activity in its own right, rather than a prelude to intercourse. The members have been vetted for suitability and there is a common thread running through the site – a desire to live life to the full, contributing as well as taking and consciously bringing into balance body, heart and soul. Sensual Spirit is a place where sex and spirit are understood to be compatible and in fact, inextricably linked.

If that wasn’t enough to get your kundalini rising, Sensual Soirees have also arrived on the scene. Set up to run alongside, these inspired events are the new way to meet members of the opposite sex in a warm, congenial environment, with dancing, great food, fantastic music, interesting conversation, simple massage and lots of hugs. You will feel completely satisfied by the end of the evening, whether you’ve met the love of your life or not.


If you´ve ever been single and on the look-out for a mate, you´ll be aware of the pros and cons of dating – and if truth be told, there are numerous cons: time-wasting trips to coffee shops and wine bars, hours wasted making small talk at yet another Cafe Rouge somewhere, waffling emails and undecipherable texts and of course the fending off of suitors who are showing way too much enthusiasm...

It´s also generally accepted that the best you´ll come home with after a night of speed dating is a combination of sore throat and migraine, mixed with intense nausea from having had to listen to the sound of your voice babbling on endlessly about yourself. Let´s face it¸ you´re already bored by your own story, hence the time-consuming quest you´ve found yourself on, for a partner who might be at least a little less boring than yourself....

If you´ve been subjected to a blind date or two you´ll recall the sinking feeling that generally comes over one upon arrival at the restaurant – “Oh no! You´re seriously unattractive and I´ve now got to force myself to sit through an entire meal before letting you know that I have absolutely no intention of going home with you and damn, the only reason I have to be polite at all is because you´re my best friend´s cousin´s accountant”

But despair no more – Sensual Soirees have arrived. Set up to run alongside the uber–cool dating site www.sensual–, these inspired events are the new way to meet members of the opposite sex in a warm, congenial environment, with dancing, great food, fantastic music, interesting conversation, easy massage and lots of hugs. You will feel completely satisfied by the end of the evening, whether you´ve met the love of your life or not.

Everyone at a Sensual Soiree is well looked-after and guaranteed a lovely time. There are no wallflowers and no uncomfortable, self–conscious silences. The structures that are beautifully led by experienced facilitators are light, fun and enriching. There´s no need to dress a certain way. You don´t have to impress anyone. It´s a relaxed atmosphere with a lot of energy, laughter, love and positivity.

We gather in cosy, clean and safe venues, with no chance of strangers bursting in once the evening is underway. The group bonds quickly and easily, with the help of games and exercises to guide everyone into a relaxed state together. The camaraderie is instantaneous and any suspicion or wariness from first-timers is melted away by the confidence of the facilitators and the good-will and intention of the group in general.

All the stress from the previous week and the baggage of the past can be left outside the front door, along with your shoes, with the knowledge that you can always choose to pick it up again on the way out. Or not! We´ve had reports of people bursting into uncontrollable laughter the following day, for no apparent reason and others hugging strangers in the street. We might be forced to put a government health warning on our tickets soon...“Attending a Sensual Soiree can make you dangerously open, affectionate and demonstrative. Participate at your own risk.”

What´s truly amazing about Sensual Soirees is that the feel-good vibe that everyone experiences by the end of the evening is created without the use of drugs or alcohol. We get high on the buzz of being together in a loving and conscious way, in the flow of life itself.

A Sensual Soiree is not a workshop and nobody is forced to particpate in any activity they don´t feel comfortable with. Anyone can happily sit out and watch at anytime without feeling as if they´re a party pooper.

At a Sensual Soiree there is space for everyone to be exactly as they are.

Don´t be shy, come along and check us out – you´ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain!

We pretty much guarantee you have a lovely time.



My novelist friend sent me an email in November. It read: “I went to a sensual soiree in Islington last night. Incredibly lustful kisses from a masseur.” That was enough to inspire me into action. Immediately. I signed up without even telling her. I didn’t ask her any other questions either. I wanted to be surprised...

As we arrive at the venue, the greetings are reassuringly warm. Our hosts, Kavida – author of Tantric Sex and The Ultimate Erotic Massage (Dorling Kindersley) – and her partner, Roland are minxy beings who hug us as though we’re sexy little bears.

A love potion is handed our way. It’s fresh lemon juice, ginger and ice – and non-alcoholic. Sixteen of us gather, equal numbers of men and women, mainly single, but one couple, from British Asian to French, ages early 30s to mid-50s, professions social enterprise to IT consultant. Kavida with her tumbling hair and flirtatious wit, has set up these sensual soirees with a specific mission in mind. “We want to create a safe environment where you can let your hair down, connect and have fun without the need for alcohol or drugs,” she says.

We stretch out on mattresses and cushions, while Kavida and Roland entertain us with their friendly banter – the atmosphere is very laid back very fast.

We’re invited to tell everyone else what qualities we’d like to give to and receive from, the evening. I pipe up with ‘risk-taking’ and ‘warmth’. The dishy French man – he looks as though he might be an acrobat or a tight-rope walker – says he’ll put in champagne and take ‘the bubble’ out. Metaphorically-speaking. My friend contributes her ‘curliness’, and we smile at her kookiness. Finally, we have a rich stew of intentions to sauce up the activities.

The first lightly-facilitated exercise is massage in a group of three. I’m with an entertaining posh bloke, and a gorgeous, African-Caribbean woman – they treat me to a love-in of stroked hair, caressed limbs and nuture. We get about five minutes each, and it really is astounding how quickly any hesitation dissolves. I feel like a Siamese cat, already.

Next comes dancing – to cast off the stresses and strains of the week, and to get upfront and flirtatious with each other. Funk is pumping up the room, the sap is rising and Kavida gives the men permission to go for it as sex gods. “You’ll know you’ve made it, when the women start moving with you,” she says oozing seduction. The next moment, the British Asian gentleman is shaking his thang rather overly-close to my groin. I smile and take a tiny, but vital step backwards.

When it’s the women’s turn – sorry, the sensual goddesses – I make off in the direction of Monsieur Tight-Rope Walker. Of course, he melts at my moves. At least, that’s my interpretation. Finally, we all merge in one big funk up. Gods and goddesses.Energies opened by the strutting, we settle down to some intimate touch. In threes again, we receive head and feet massage. Oh my god, it’s bliss. A fabulous healer woman from Stroud – think Jane Birkin – rubs my feets with lotion. Whilst, Mr lovely 30 something Social Enterprise strokes my hair and whispers, ‘You’re a divine goddess’ into my ear. I almost believe him. This is Friday evening and beats the pants off a night in with Jonathon Ross. Afterwards, we lounge and chat as though we’ve known each other for years. It’s the massage effect.

There’s a light, salady interval with hummus, brie and cuddles. “Help yourself to chocolate mousse and cherries,” says Madame Minx, “but don’t eat it yet.”

Ah ha – the grand finale. The women sit wearing blindfolds on the floor in a circle facing outwards, their desserts beside them. “Go on men, find your goddess and feed them in the sexiest way you can muster,” coaxes Kavida. I’m honestly not sure whether I’ll enjoy this. To be blunt, I feel reservations about anyone plunging their fingers into my mouth. I blame dental nurses down the years.

However, I had to recant. The men – we had the opportunity to sample three in 15 minutes – were magnificent. They tempted, and sensually delighted my palate and my tongue. And restraint. I began to understand a-new the nature of this sensual game.

And then, it was our turn to feed them. I found Mr France and titillated him with hints of mousse, then slivers of cherry. There was a lot, a lot of laughter in the room. I glanced across the room only to spot Mr Posho covered in chocolate. Cheeks, chest, mouth – he had almost become a mousse himself

Suddenly, I caught sight of my friend. Goodness, she had totally abandoned her spoon and was wholly engaged in a gigantic snog with the aforementioned lusty masseur. I found myself with the pouting Mr Social Entreprise who was showing a certain willingness to experiment. There was kissing. There was teasing. Desire, playfulness and a little risk-taking – what a great mix.

The evening was a great success. We left burbling with excitement and nourishment. Will I be returning? Very probably. Other advantages? Yes, absolutely no hang-over.

by Rose Rouse


What people say about Sensual Soirees

“Thanks for the party last week. I really enjoyed myself.

I have to admit that I was nervous at the beginning; I just didn't know what to expect (which was delicious in itself!) but that quickly disappeared thanks to the way in which you, together with Roxana and Roland, skilfully guided us through the evening. It felt like sensual pleasure from start to finish.” Leon Ankrah

“Dear Kavida and Roland,

For me, Friday´s gathering was a joyful blend of fun, laughter, honour and respect. I achieved my personal goal, “to allow myself to be me”, so thanks for providing the space for me to create that. I would say that the music, timing, food, drink, massaging, people, numbers, dynamics, energy and location all worked for me so bring on more of the same. I achieved my personal goal, “to allow myself to be me”, so thanks for providing the space for me to create that.” Carole